Episode 19: Rejecting Stereotypes: Why You Should Resist the “Strong Black Woman” Stereotype

As Black women, we know all too well that no community will tear us down like our own. No one else goes out of their way to antagonize us about our attractiveness the way Black men do. Some Black women do this to each other as well. And what strength does that display?

The “strong Black woman” stereotype is not doing us any favors, Black women.

We’ll never measure up to it because it’s impossible. The entire community should not be our sole responsibility to maintain. Black men who are financially able to devote time and resources to reinvesting into their families and communities are the first ones to abandon them. Of the Black men who remain, these men complain instead of solving problems. What productive, successful men do in other cultures is what many of our men exempt themselves from having to do at all.

Resisting the “Strong Black Woman” Trope

Being called a “Strong Black Woman” is a double-edged sword of a compliment. It makes us seem as if we possess an almost superhuman ability to endure pain and suffering as if it’s our birthright. As if we can support everyone else all the time and overcome life’s hardships without needing help or protection. It praises our ability to endure and survive without nurturing, and without protection, rather than highlighting our achievements or ambitions. This trope profoundly impacts the lives and ambitions of Black women everywhere.

The “Strong Black Woman” Burden

Being a “strong Black woman” has deep historical roots stemming from the days of slavery. We push through all of our pain and hide every struggle. The pressure to embody this kind of relentless, unwavering strength can often overwhelm and exhaust us, even when we don’t realize it.

The Cost of Perpetual Strength

You may feel more overwhelmed at work, or wonder if your colleagues and supervisors, like everyone else you know, assume you, being a Black woman, can handle a two-person job by yourself — and subsequently in half the time since you’re a person short. But even our own insistence on perpetual strength often discourages us from seeking help or appearing vulnerable as Black women.

This pressure to be strong also stifles how we process our emotions and can keep us from leaving toxic relationships and seeking mental health care when we need it.

Black women alone shoulder the majority of the building, volunteering, and financial reinvestments into our communities, yet we live with (or in close proximity to) Black men who create more problems for us than they help solve. This would lead any sane, well-adjusted person to wear themselves out, drudging away in a state of disunion.

Changing the Strong Black Woman Narrative

Since “freedom” for Black men is often synonymous with infidelity, abandonment, neglecting their families, destroying their communities, or forsaking their countries, Black women must always be strong. Living under these conditions requires Black women to be resilient every day.

But we can lead the way in creating a new narrative for ourselves by rejecting the “strong Black woman” stereotype. Don’t fall into this mental trap. And if you do fall in, don’t get stuck. Spend your time with people who work toward being healthy and successful, and who help you achieve the same.